Yesterday I had a really interesting conversation with a Colombian friend about the difference between collectively oriented cultures and individualistic cultures. I know there is an academic term for this idea, which I learned at some point, but I don't remember it off the top of my head and can't be bothered to search for it.

When I'm in the U.S., the idea that people should always put themselves first is never problematic for me. It seems pretty obvious that it's best to make decisions for yourself, not based on other people's needs or wishes for you. And I think even for an American I'm pretty individualistic. I had a conversation with Daria once about how I don't like doing things based on other people's needs or wishes because it makes me feel vulnerable.

But being here in Colombia, where there is a much stronger collective spirit, makes that statement sound SO selfish to me. People here do so much for each other all the time. I can't imagine how much time they must spend thinking about other people, but it makes the amount of time I spend thinking about myself seem really gross. People in my lab are always bringing me, and everyone else, presents. Nothing big, but every few days I'll walk in and there will be a little chocolate on my desk, and Christian or Juan Migel will say, "para ti." Just because. I never do things like that for other people. Not because I don't want to, but just because I don't usually think of it.

The conversation I had about this yesterday was with a friend who is an undergrad student here in Colombia, in his 5th and final year of study. Here, everyone does 4 years of classes and then they do a thesis, or research project, for their final year. Kind of like comps but bigger. So there are a lot of 5th year undergrads at CIAT doing their research. They receive a small amount of pay while they're working, but are definitely still on the student budget. Anyway, my friend Juan pays for his brother's internet, and for the oldest of his nephews to go to school. His brother is 10 years older and has three kids. Juan doesn't even seem resentful of it though, it's like he's really happy to support people he cares about. I asked him why he does it, and all he said was "no se...soy generoso?"


This is one of those realizations that I couldn't have come to if I wasn't in Colombia. There are a lot of things that seem so normal I don't even question them until I see a different way, and then it's like, "oh duh, that makes way more sense."

Also, I went to the cake place again. SO GOOOOD.